Good things!

    No whining this week!  I am remembering all of the things I have to be thankful for (since it is Thanksgiving week).  There is nothing like counting your blessings to snap you out of a funk.  I have so much to be thankful for and I know our daughter will come, it's just a matter of time.  

Meanwhile, we are trying to come up with a middle name for her.  Up until last week we planned to use her given name.  What I never really thought about is that she won't have a middle name.  My pediatrician pointed that out when I had the youngest two boys in for their immunizations.  I got so excited because that is something we can actually do right now.  No waiting!  So we have pulled out the baby name books and are coming up with a list.  It would be nice to have something to call her instead of "sister."

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday!

See ya next week,

DMM

Keep life normal!????

...That is the advice we are given as "waiting adopting parents".  "Try to go on with life as you normally would."  I find that to be the most ridiculous request.  Waiting to adopt a child is the most abnormal experience I have ever had to live through for such a long period of time.  The anticipation of "the referral" and the events that follow invades every aspect of our family's life.
We skipped our family vacation last summer so that we could use that money for the adoption.  We are really feeling the need to plan one this year because that time with each other is so important to us.  So, how do we plan it?  We really believed that our next family vacation would include our daughter.  Do we plan it in hopes that she will be here by then or do we wait to make sure she will be here?

My cousin is getting married in California next September.  We won't be able to take the kids, and if our daughter is here we wouldn't be able to leave her that soon.  Can we definitely bank on her being here by then?  No, we can't.  Can't make plans because we don't know.

My son worries in the back of his mind about the week we will be gone to Ethiopia.  It has given him an underlying current of anxiety that makes him worry about a lot of other things.  All of the reassurance in the world will not appease his concerns and so he lives his daily life stressed out.

I am obsessed with finding any scrap of information I can on other blogs.  I spend more time than I would like scouring the Ethiopia blogs that I follow.  I battle myself between trying to get the adoption off my mind and letting myself be excited about bringing our daughter home.

We were at DQ the other night and all 6 of us squeezed into a booth.  One of the boys said, "What are we going to do when sister gets here, we won't be able to fit!"  Then, MBM said,"that's Ok she can sit on my lap."  I just wanted to hug him and cry because I don't want him to miss out on those moments.

We need her home NOW!  The only way life is going to feel normal for this family is if we have our little girl home with us.  We have carved out a place in all of our hearts for her and we need her here to fill it in!  We are praying and would love it if you would pray with us to "get this show on the road!"
Love,
DMM

4 Months Waiting!

Even though we are still waiting, the latest developments in the Ethiopia adoption program have really made us hopeful that things are moving in the right direction again.  The four months between referrals was really unprecedented so we felt  pretty concerned.  Now that there have been 2 referrals in 5 days, we are hopeful that things might get rolling again.

I also wanted to clarify to people what being on the waiting list really means.  It may sound like we are waiting for children to become orphans, but actually we are waiting for orphans to become adoptable.  There are millions of orphans in Ethiopia, but the process for them to become adoptable is somewhat tedious.  Obtaining birth certificates for the child or maybe a death certificate for their deceased parents can be really time consuming in Ethiopia.  Most children do not have that kind of paperwork.  There are agency representatives in Ethiopia that track down these documents.  Getting one birth certificate may take a whole day of travel.  Therefore the wait!

Thanks for checking in!
DMM

Celebrating Orphan Sunday!

We celebrated orphan Sunday last night by going to see the African Children's Choir.   We didn't know what to expect and we were blown away!  I know it's a good thing when my teenagers are impressed.  All of it was spectacular, but we were all especially impressed with the drummers.  Wow!  If you ever get the opportunity to see them, it is well worth your time.
Adoption news:
There was another referral this week, which means we climb another rung of the ladder!  Yeah!

Have a great day!
DMM

Moving up the Ladder!

Great News! Apparently this news came out on Monday and for some reason I didn't receive the email. There was a referral of a 5 month old baby girl made this week to a family using our agency. The first referral in 4 months! We are hoping that this means there will more to come soon! The courts re-opened sometime in the second week of October. We have officially bumped up to waiting list #51.

It is such a relief to have some good news to tell after that long wait.

Thanks for checkin in'
DMM

Generosity!

I am humbled today! Yesterday we received an inspiring letter in the mail along with a check to support our adoption. I am so touched that the couple who sent it to us believes so much in what we are doing to hand over their own hard-earned money to make it happen. They knew we were applying for grants and that we had not been having much luck. I feel honored that they trust that we will see this journey through until we bring our little girl home where we will share with her all our families' blessings.
I feel like I am a charitable person, but now I think I will always think of them when I am deciding how much to give!
Thank you so much for your generosity and kindness! (you know who you are!)
DMM & MTM

Encouragement!

In general I write my blog to keep my family and friends up to date with our adoption but I know there are many bloggers out there who read each others updates to get information or encouragement to keep forging ahead on the road to adoption. And, since I do not have any updates to give I thought encouragement should be the way to go this week.
Even though the Ethiopia adoption program is going through some tough times right now, I think we can keep in perspective that there have always been bumps in the road. I am sure last year when they added a second trip many families feared that financially they wouldn't be able to make it work. After all, that adds another $5000.00 to the cost. Yikes! My point is that there will always be bumps in the road but the kind of people who sign up for this adventure will have the drive, perseverance, and faith to get through it. Don't doubt it! Our agency has said time and again that they have never had a family that in the end did not bring home a child. Our burden to bear is "the wait"! I have been trying to put it to good use...getting my house in good shape(so I don't have to be embarrassed when my mom is here watching my children), learning how to cook with Berbere spice, trying to speak some Amharic phrases, and trying to prepare myself and my family emotionally for the challenges when she comes home. There is a lot to do so get to it!

I hope that helps!
Have a great day,
DMM

Ethiopia Update!

Well....we had our conference call yesterday. I definitely feel reassured that our agency is doing all that they can. There wasn't a lot of information that I didn't already know. I did find out about the changes in our agency that I was concerned about though. They are definitely scaling back on the Ethiopia program because of the "slow down" in the adoption process. There was a coordinator let go and the House of Hope(the place where families can stay while in Ethiopia) is being closed, and office hours are being cut back. The explanation for these cut-backs is that there are just less families coming into the program and slower movement through the program. So, naturally they need to follow the changes. Makes sense. We were told that things are moving it is just taking more time due to the extra documentation that the U.S. Embassy is asking for. I can't complain because all of the extra precautions are good ones. We will get our daughter home, it just might take longer than we had hoped.
I am changing my perspective on the wait. I was rereading "The New Earth" for the hundredth time and something hit home. In summary Tolle says that we need to not look at the journey as a means to an end. The path to the goal is some of the best parts of life. Embrace every moment and be present in that moment.
Thanks for your prayers!

Until next time,
DMM

Tracy Chapman - The Promise

3 Months Waiting

As of October 7th we have been waiting 3 months for our referral.  I have to say there are things that have been going on that are really concerning me.  I don't feel comfortable talking specifics right now but the final concern was an email that we received yesterday.  Our agency has scheduled a conference call for families in the "waiting for a referral stage" of the adoption process.  Part of me wants to believe that it is to tell us not to get discouraged about the lack of referrals.  The other part of me is scarred to death that we are getting some really bad news.   The wait for that meeting on Wednesday is going to seem like an eternity.  Living with all of the unknowns is really difficult.
In the adoption world three months is not a long time to wait.  Families waiting to adopt an infant are told to expect 9-12 months waiting time.  We were told that a referral for a child in our age range could be immediate to a couple of months at the longest.  We never thought to doubt that information.  In fact, the planner that I am, I thought the whole process through with that time in mind.  I really hoped for our daughter to get here as soon as possible so that she will have time with her oldest twin brothers before they go off to college.  They are sophomores in high school and I feel the clock ticking.  We have 2 and half years left.  It makes me very sad to think that she may hardly remember when they lived in our house.  I know that they will be awesome big brothers and have a lot of love to give!  She will be a blessing in their lives as well and I don't want them to miss out on her life with us.  I am not going to give up on that  hope!
I am going to ask again for your prayers for good news on Wednesday and a referral soon!

Thanks for checkin' in
DMM